It might be the Holy Spirit or an ancient self, directing its youth whatever it is, it whispers.
It speaks first, fast but hardly vivid, it expects belief.
It never repeats itself but triggers unease in face of contradiction.
It always knows; it knows what will work and what wouldn’t yet it demands nothing but action. Instant action, free of doubt.
That immediate thought when faced with a decision, the first inkling about someone new. It is the undiluted thought before logic, before culture, before references, before consequences; pure insight.
It is so dependable but prone to corruption from our egoistic need to reason, all happening so fast that its words can be easily misinterpreted. “Insight is not a light bulb that goes off inside our heads. It is a flickering candle that can be easily be snuffed out.” Malcolm Gladwell, Blink The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.
Speed is all it demands. It intentionally drop hints in bits, the whole picture is always seen when played backwards but, never before, not even when it seems improbable. It is to self, no one else can see it nor understand it, seeking validation is futile. It is given only to you.
But it is a friend and you can rely on it.
When I fought it, or try to shush it, it went away but not so far away. It stopped talking, it only watched leaving me to walk my way with heavy feet. My heart pounded, two forces pulled me in opposite directions yet I propelled towards my reasoning. It was harder but it should be hard, that’s what I was taught. Then it failed, deep down, I knew it would. The signs had flown around passing right under my nostrils.
But, it came back because there is always a way and no mistake is permanent.
As I listen, I shift my logic far away. This is new, this is different and direct. As I act accordingly; it feels good, it feels natural, I do not struggle. This is me.
“Travellers, there is no path, paths are made by walking.” Antonio Machado.